Archive Page 2

03
Aug
09

The inevitable.

Well, today is the day folks. Today, Nerd Squadron commits a group suicide. Why do you ask? Well some of us are doing it for attention, and a few because our crippling depression and alcohol abuse has left us bitter husks of men with nothing to live for, but most? We’re doing it because we found out about this.

http://www.twilightthevideogame.com/

That’s right. A Twilight videogame. It seems that every sight we try to get information from has a different rumor and we just can’t seem to get a straight up answer to all our questions. Is it an MMO? Is it a console game? Digital distribution? Will there be vampire sex? Why would a loving god allow this?

"Let there be Metrosexual Vampire Pornography!"

"Let there be PG Metrosexual Vampire Pornography!"

Read more after the jump.

Continue reading ‘The inevitable.’

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02
Aug
09

Goes down smooth… and irradiated

So… we sort of wasted most of our Fallout 3 segues and jokes on our last post about it… regardless, Aznz888 over at Face Punch has crafted a few suicide slides of soft drinks he calls Nuka-Cola and Nuka-Cola Quantum. All the recipies are pretty cheap and the materials are easy to find except a Foosh energy mint, does anybody know where to pick these things up? It’s the first we’ve heard of them.

You can really taste the topical irony in the drink.

You can really taste the topical irony in the drink.

Aznz888 also made some fancy custom logos to go along with your drinking experience, so you can feel just what it’s like to drink a soft drink in a horrible post nuclear apocalypse!

See the logos after the jump!

Continue reading ‘Goes down smooth… and irradiated’

31
Jul
09

Muramasa: The Demon Blade: You liars.

Okay! That looks pretty awesome! It looks like Noitu Love or something. What is it called? Muramasa: The Demon Blade? Cool, it’s coming out on Xbox Live Arcade right? …No? Playstation Network? No? Just plain old Xbox or Ps3? No?! STEAM?! What else is there?! …Th-the Wii? You liar! The Wii only makes mini-game collections now! It stopped making games for actual gamers by the time it had a pile of money so big from selling shovelware they could pay hookers for 24 hour blowjobs while they smoke cigars and laugh at us poor Hardcore gamers starving out in the cold.

Haha! Look at those starving fools! ... I didn't say stop, you gutter whore!

Haha! Look at those starving fools! ... I didn't say stop, you gutter whore!

Continue reading ‘Muramasa: The Demon Blade: You liars.’

30
Jul
09

Useless talent #43

Alright, usually we give a short summary down here of what the video was about, but we implore you to watch the whole thing. It drags on a little but it’s essentially an explanation of how to be an M&M shark.

…What… no image of taking the pun literally? … Really you guys? Well… all right then… So what we mean by M&M Shark is you can basically shark those “Guess the number of M&Ms in this jar” contests by knowing the packing ratio of M&Ms and the volume of the container… Now we just need to find a circuit of Jar guessing games and hit it big time, Rainman style.

God damn it!

God damn it!

29
Jul
09

Newwwwwwwws time chiiiiiiiildren!

Looking to make your life a little more post apocalyptic? Can’t get your hands on some power armor, or a laser pistol? Well here’s what you can get your grubby little wastelander mitts on.

504x_buffout

Good thing our Medicine skill is so high, those extra stimpaks go a long way.

Chris, over at Weekly Geekly has posted a handy little guide to making your own world a little more dreary with these Capital Wasteland Accessories. What we love about this is that it could make a Fallout 3 Wanderer cosplay so much better. Imagine, you’ve got your jumpsuit, you slaved over a pip-boy, you’ve specked your face with dirt and grime, you set foot in those convention hall doors, and there you see… another Lone Wanderer… Your costumes are both well made and look fantastic, but imagine how much better you’ll look when you try to pay for your ticket with a handful of caps. Just make sure you bring actual money, the last time we tried to trade caps for a cheeseburger, the cops didn’t take to kindly to it. It would have been just a misdemeanor but then we tore off our clothes and tried to pretend we were feral ghouls. What can we say? Jet is hell of a drug.

[Via Kotaku]

27
Jul
09

Monday Movie Mad Hatter Mania!

Alright, so our post title wasn’t very clever, but it is Monday. Yep! We’ve got the premier trailer for Tim Burton’s: Alice in Wonderland! Some might say we’re the first ones to get ahold of it… and those people would be us… and we’re dirty liars. We just can’t help ourselves! We just want to be popular so much! We even went down to the old creek with Brad the varsity quarterback, bringing along a case of wine coolers and leaving our inhibitions at home! We don’t think we’ll ever be innocent again… Not after how he made us feel so… dirty…

You said you loved us Brad...

You said you loved us Brad...

To say the least we should have gone with Chase, the rebellious loner with a heart of gold, but hey, you live and you learn. What were we talking about again? Oh yeah! Alice in Wonderland. The Squadron has a lot of respect for Tim Burton, the man pretty much popularized the Gothic Subculture. Even if the resulting popularity created a fan base of idiots, we still have massive nerd love for the man. However we do have reservations about this. As always the Squadron has healthy amounts of skepticism and we’re 75% positive that this will turn into “Watch Johnny Depp attempt to carry a movie as a nutty and off kilter character” just like that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory insult. Of course we are impressed by the visuals we saw, Tim Burton does have the ability to assault your brain with amazing and fantastical sights, but just like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again, it was all fluff and no substance. So we’ll see it when it comes out, and hey, if it’s good, it’s good. If not? We can just go play American McGee’s Alice, for our dose of a looking glass that’s been warped, fun house mirror style.

26
Jul
09

Sunday Waste of Time: Tone Matrix

It’s Sunday! You know what that means! … You don’t? Well… of course you don’t, this is the first time we’ve done this. Now, how many of you have lazy Sundays? You sit around with nothing to do, you’ve already yelled at people for not having a hat, cried for a while, and contemplated suicide only to decide not to because it would be far to much effort to get up off the couch and actually do it. So, you sit on that couch, looking at pictures of LOLcats, just hoping for something to waste another hour of your pathetic life.

This... this is an act of shame.

This... this is an act of shame.

Well fear not Internet! We know your itch and we have your cure!

http://lab.andre-michelle.com/tonematrix

The Andre-Michelle Tone Matrix is a seemingly simple 16 by 16 grid when looked at but click a square and you’ll find that each square is actually a note on a 16 step sequencer with the horizontal location of the square determining the timing of the note and the vertical location determining its pitch. What makes it even more interesting is that  the whole thing is laid out on a wavemap, causing ripples when any note is pinged. We can tell you, we’ve spent hours with this thing, making little tunes ranging from some complex bleeps and bloops to trying to play some notable songs. So, give it a shot, mix some tunes and stay away from the other audio tools, because without a rudimentary knowledge of sound mixing tech, you’ll be a bit in over your head. And feel free to copy and paste some of your tunes in the comments! We’ll only make fun of them so that we can take them later and say we made them.




Nerd Squadron.

Nerd Squadron, an elite team of cynical mysoginistic social regects here to scour the far reaches of the net to bring you all the gaming news your tiny little meat brains can handle.

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