Okay! That looks pretty awesome! It looks like Noitu Love or something. What is it called? Muramasa: The Demon Blade? Cool, it’s coming out on Xbox Live Arcade right? …No? Playstation Network? No? Just plain old Xbox or Ps3? No?! STEAM?! What else is there?! …Th-the Wii? You liar! The Wii only makes mini-game collections now! It stopped making games for actual gamers by the time it had a pile of money so big from selling shovelware they could pay hookers for 24 hour blowjobs while they smoke cigars and laugh at us poor Hardcore gamers starving out in the cold.
Haha! Look at those starving fools! ... I didn't say stop, you gutter whore!
Still, we’re not entirely convinced… A Wii game that won’t actually suck? We’re not supposed to be biased here… but the Wii hasn’t given us much to work with. We’ve heard a bit about Muramasa, the creators claiming that “Wii owners haven’t had a hardcore game in quite some time” but game developers tend to be full of empty promises…
"Please sir! You promised us another Starfox if we preformed sexual favors for you!"
Alright, no more orphan jokes, we promise. We’re just skeptical as usual. We always want good things, but in this industry it’s hard to tell the good from the bad without actually experiencing the game. Muramasa: The Demon Blade hits September 8th this year.
(Editor’s note: When tryping “Orphan” into google image search, we got pictures of starving African orphans, we had to specify “Cockney Oprhan” to get the amusing one… what has this world come to?)
Brett
Wow. I feel incredibly betrayed. I thought the same thing. “Oh, look, a game that looks as faced pace and actiony as Noitu Love 2. FUCK YES.” BUT NO. NO. THEY HAVE TO GO AND BETRAY ME AND OTHER ACTUAL GAMERS BY PULLING THIS SHIT.
GAH. The wii needs to go. It’s long passed the need for hardcore games. It needs someone to pull the plug. It may not be what it wants, like Grandpa, but it’s definitely what it needs.